Did I mention that the father of the three was a king? Well, he had an entire kingdom at his disposal, which allowed him to at least ensure the best education was provided for his daughters, with a special focus on Orual because, according to him, her intelligence was the only thing going for her and so ultimately her future depended on it.

In contrast, Psyche, the youngest (and technically Orual’s half sister) was extremely beautiful. Orual loved her as a mother loves her child and Psyche reciprocated this love equally. They had affectionate names for each other: Maia (which in greek means foster mother) and Istra (the greek name version of Psyche). They were inseparable. Psyche was breathtakingly beautiful. It wasn’t uncommon for the people of her father’s kingdom (mostly mothers) who met her to bow down in “worship” and lay down myrtle ‘offerings’ at her feet in hope for their daughters to be as beautiful as she was: a superstitious act of course that nonetheless says something of the extent of her beauty. She was believed to be a goddess and, in at least one particular instance in the story, people believed her beauty had healing qualities.

Earlier on in life, Orual made the decision to always wear a veil mostly to shield herself from people’s judgements based on her appearance. People really didn’t know how she looked; she just was the woman in the veil. Needless to say that there was no shortage of speculation about the veil (and what could be hiding behind it), particularly after she eventually became queen in her father’s place. She stuck with this decision to her old age — even after you’d assumed she wouldn’t still care about it.

Before she decided to ‘veil up’, she used to believe that she could do little cosmetic adjustments here and there (like holding her hair in a certain way) to make her ugliness tolerable; but in the end she opted for the veil as everything else was too much effort to be maintained for a lifetime.

I empathized deeply with Orual’s predicament as I’d guess many people would. In our time, we have so much at our disposal before someone considers (the drastic measure) to totally veil up for the rest of their lives: look at how much skincare, makeup, haircare and other products you can buy — and I’m not even mentioning extreme and costly measures of plastic surgery and other devices we purchase to remediate the situation. Men like to pretend they don’t care about such, and on some level it is true that they don’t care as much as women, but they most definitely do care about this — however much less.

Most times, we leave it to personal taste (and judgment) when it comes to makeup and how much we should alter/adjust/beautify our appearances in general but we know when the altering/beautifying has gone overboard (notably when we cannot recognize the person anymore). Even if we acknowledge the subjective nature of this matter, we can recognize a deep problem when someone comes to the point where their appearance has become too ‘artificial’ and we know that the problem is not in the appearance but rather inward.

The story made me think even more about beauty (and ugliness) on a more serious level when Psyche eventually met the ‘god of the wind; West-Wind himself’. I’m skipping many details that led to this encounter; it only suffices for our purposes to note that the most beautiful woman of the time, the best humanity could offer, comes face to face with ‘divinity’. When Psyche tells the story to Orual, she mentions how she felt inadequate, and that she had a sense that her flaws were put in the spotlight. Our flawless goddess for once experiences what your average person goes through daily and gets a glimpse of what everybody else feels every single day: an awareness of one’s defects. Even as Orual kept asking questions, Psyche tells her that it is her mortality that made her feel ashamed and made her feel as if she was a leper.

Orual couldn’t understand how Psyche could be ashamed of mortality! Aren’t we all mortals? Can we help it? Psyche’s response to Orual’s questions was golden:

“Don’t you think the things people are most ashamed of are the things they can’t help?”
Orual immediately thought of her ugliness and said nothing.

The story goes even deeper, but allow me to pause a little and think a bit (in light of this story) about beauty in general. If the most beautiful among us finds herself to be as a leper next to a god, what about the rest of us? Why bother?

The thing is, beauty matters for us right now, in front of other people; we couldn’t care less how we look next to “gods”. It matters how it makes us feel right here and right now, and we need the confidence and self-esteem we get through it.

On the other hand, we have many warnings to keep in mind. They’re to those who make beauty an end in itself, or the ultimate thing.

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting…”
Proverbs 31:30

“A beautiful woman who rejects good sense is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.”
Proverbs 11:22

“Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, rather what’s inside the heart — the imperishable quality of a gentle and a quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
1 Peter 3:3-4

King Saul was described as “a handsome young man as could be found anywhere in Israel, and he was a head taller than anyone else”. But God said this about him:

“…Do not look at [Saul’s] appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

In my opinion, the above verses are not saying that outward appearance is totally meaningless; after all it is God himself who creates people to be beautiful, and He perceives it to be good. I also understand the verses as warnings and reminders of this “inner beauty” which not only matters even more (to God and to fellow people) but also is something we can work on; or if you will, something that we can actually help with. But can we really help? Not quite.

The story goes on to tell us how Orual finds out that she also cannot do anything substantive to improve her inner beauty and how she finds it to be much like her outward appearance. Late in her life, she also gets to meet “gods” and is surprised by the ugliness of her inner self. She then resolves to be better and become a good person:

I would set out boldly each morning to be just and calm and wise in all my thoughts and acts; but before they had finished dressing me I would find that I was back (and knew not how long I had been back) in some old rage, resentment, gnawing fantasy, or sullen bitterness. I could not hold out half an hour.

This haunted her and reminded her of the time when she use to try to mend her outward appearance by the way she did her hair and the colors she wore. She comes to the terrible realization that:

I could mend my soul no more than my face. Unless the gods helped. And why did the gods not help?

Remembering her lifelong celibacy (because of her ugliness) this discovery exasperated her depression and the dark perception about herself. Her inner monologue goes on:

No man will love you, though you gave your life for him, unless you have a pretty face. So (might it not be?), the gods will not love you (however you try to pleasure them, and whatever you suffer) unless you have that beauty of soul…

What a helpless state she found herself in — and so do we.

Forgive me for the late mention: The story I’ve been telling is a “Myth Retold” by C.S. Lewis in his book “Till We Have Faces”. A stupendous work. Orual undergoes much ‘soul work’ afterwards and eventually is liberated and experiences some sort of healing that allows her to finally remove the veil.

If it had not dawned on you, you can’t really do much when it comes to your inner self as well. This inner “imperishable beauty” mentioned above is actually not the fruit of our efforts. It doesn’t matter the flood of ‘self help’ material we’re currently drowning in, what our feeble attempts do is only hide our shame behind “filthy rags”. Here’s scripture’s poetic echo of that very fact:

“Can an Ethiopian change his skin,
or a leopard its spots?
Neither can you do good
who are accustomed to doing evil.”
Jeremiah 13:23

We started with outward appearance, how much we value it (and rightly so), the unfortunate truth of how fleeting it is, how vain it can become and how helpless we are in terms of enhancing it. What I realized through it all is the fact that whether it is from this story or from the Bible, the two types of beauty cannot be separated; that is, you can’t talk about one in a meaningful way without talking about the other. They always go together. They can’t be disentangled. It’s as though it were God’s (merciful) intention when He made it this way.

The good news is we’re not left totally helpless, left with our ugliness and the utter shame that comes with it. Our desire to be beautiful will ultimately be reaffirmed (and not discarded). He clothes us with His own beauty; which does not originate from ourselves (lest we take pride in it or cause the envy of others) rather, it is a gift of grace, a heavenly clothing over our hideousness, “a crown of beauty instead of ashes”.

..You will be given a new name
by the Lord’s own mouth.
The Lord will hold you in his hand for all to see —
a splendid crown in the hand of God.
Isaiah 62:2-3

We shall not be left to rot though we are vile and repulsive. It is true that though the light of God’s glory for the moment is a treasure that is carried in ‘jars of clay’ it won’t always be like that… The Lord who was transfigured in his human body and had his face “shine like the sun” and his clothes dazzling white like light will likewise make us shine like the “brightness of the heavens”. The One who made the face of Moses, one who was still mortal, radiant in His glory, will make our perfected, resurrected and glorified bodies as well radiate “like the stars forever” (Daniel 12:3).

What of our present shame? Well…

“Those who look to him are radiant
And their faces shall never be ashamed.”
Psalms 34:5